Yardwork

Winter is almost over here in New England and the buds are beginning to open. It's one of my favorite times of the year, along with the fall. But spring may eek out the victory over fall as we still have summer to look forward to, not a dreadful winter. It's also my favorite season as it allows me to be in my true element, the outdoors. I have recently, within the past few years, become an avid gardener. I love picking out plants and placing them around the yard. It can be an expensive hobby but it's also a lot of fun. I also enjoy the working aspect of digging, raking, planting, watering etc. I am not one for sitting still so this type of work is perfect for me. But I also have an ulterior motive; I want to have the best looking landscaping in the neighborhood. I need to one up my neighbors so that I can be the best. This sounds petty but it's part of the guy code. We are always in some sort of unsanctioned and unspoken competition with our comrades on the left and right of us. It originated during the early days of man when Grog said to Ug, "my cave is carved better than yours". Of course they spoke in grunts so it sounded a bit less refined but you get my point. Another part of the guy landscaping code is keeping an immaculate lawn. There's nothing like a luscious green lawn that will become the envy of your neighbor's eye. I don't understand men who let their landscaping just grow out and become a jungle. I literally would not be able to sleep. Currently I spend time in the early morning hours thinking about my lawn and garden and what I can do next. I'm sure that I have some sort of mental illness but at least it doesn't involve murdering people. One of my main projects that I have already completed was cutting down two large trees. Of course my wife won't let me operate a chain saw (much to my chagrin) so I had to call in the experts. Which was probably the correct call anyway but it stripped a bit of my gardening manhood away. Removing these trees served a couple of purposes; I now have more sun to provide for my plants and more space in the yard. Also, one tree was leaning towards the neighbors property and the other was diseased. And with that newfound space I have planted.....more trees. Anyway, off to removing the stumps. It's a great way to let out some steam that has built up while the kids are doing their normal morning routine. Which brings to mind a new fitness idea that I had, stump hacking. So someone pays you to remove your stumps. They get to build muscle and you get a stump removed. Such a great idea! I am full of them (or something else).