What Is Fatherhood?

I don't think there's really an easy way to prepare for fatherhood. You can attend all of the classes, read the books, watch documentaries and realize that none of the learned techniques and expectations ever come to fruition. And I don't mean the usual stuff such as changing diapers, feeding, crying, sleep deprivation etc. By fatherhood I am referring to the more emotional aspects. Because when you become a father, you're entire outlook on life changes. Things that once seemed important or critical are no longer thought of. So you can put those golf clubs in the basement and forget about them. Hobbies? What are those?! Fatherhood is temporarily forgetting about these things. Maybe not forgetting but just cataloging them in some dark recess of your mind. Fatherhood is putting your family first. You're wife and kid(s) are the most important thing to you now. It may sound strange but when you become a father, you would literally die for your family. Some part of your brain is awakened which tells you this. Hopefully none of us will ever be put in a situation where your life is on the line but it's still something that is a constant thought. Fatherhood is the ability to adjust your schedule. No more structure to your life, dinner is when your baby allows you to have it. Sleep is just about as rare as a hole in one. And when you get that much deserved hour off, it'll be spent horizontally in dreamland. Fatherhood is realizing how difficult it will be for our wives. Childbirth, and I was there for both of my children, looks about as pleasant as having one's head squeezed in a vise. Trust me, it's both beautiful and disgusting. But we get the easy part as the support. Our wives are the true heroes. All we have to do is watch. But it's not just childbirth itself, we have to realize what new moms go through. Constant feeding, listening to crying, being completely drained of energy but still having to go on. I watched my wife go through it all and I only wish that I could be as strong. Fatherhood is taking your kids to dance class, sports, lessons and friend's parties. You may not want to go but it's what we do. You'll learn to love it when you see your little one on the dance stage or on the soccer field scoring a goal. All of those drives are worth it. Fatherhood is realizing that you will be screamed at, both by your kids and your wife. Parenting is the most stressful occupation that one can experience. And that stress will cause arguments. There's no way to avoid it. Just be prepared to admit that you're wrong, as I found out very quick. Fatherhood is reading to your children and playing silly games with them. You may look like a fool, and Mr. T pities the fool, but you're little ones will love it. Who cares what you look like doing it. Fatherhood is letting messes happen. My daughters love to play in dirt and I myself and quite the clean freak. So I've had to let go of that. I'd much rather see my kids outside having fun rather than being that parent who is constantly telling them to stay clean. Fatherhood is realizing that you no longer come first to your wife. You are now lower in the hierarchy. Just know that your wife still loves you even though it may not be apparent. Fatherhood is getting away from you ever present phone and living in the moment. Don't worry about how your fantasy team is doing or if you hit on each leg of your parlay. That can always be checked later. What's most important is away from the screen. Fatherhood is staying up at night to check on your sick kids, and your wife who is taking care of them. You may not be fully awake at work the next day but your boss can deal with it. Fatherhood is assuring that your little ones grow into everything they can be. And they will grow fast. Enjoy every precious moment with your children, they are the best thing in your life.